Sorry to my watchers who've been expecting me to keep up this 'return', i havn't uploaded anything in a while (Well, as you can all plainly see). I'm not dead.. i'm just pwnt by University right now, and playing way too many friggin computer games. Or atleast, a whole lot of one. I'm like, ranked 4th on my regular server out of 6,000+. >.> Now if only i dropped going out and getting drunk i could get 1st...

Nah i'm not that much of a twat. Jeez.. I've had my moment. Been there done that, got removed from the stats board for having no life, and finally gone and got one of my own x years later. (Life, not score board, LOL). Not even funny..

I've completely sucked at university recently, though.. i think i've basically failed my final project. I have 6 days to build a website, fill my sketchbook and annotate it.. Make that 5, i work saturdays. Which would actually be doable if my 250GB hard drive didn't FILL UP. I have 2GB free space which is barely enough to run the computer on. Oh well. It's kinda typical i guess, i'd managed to get away without a huge slap in the face thus far, in the current academic year.. something was bound to happen eventually. I thought i actually pulled a sly one.

But, when you need to escape life for a while you need to escape it for a while.. Well.. not really. Any strong person wouldn't so easily run way from their responsibilities when shit hits the fan, especially at such a critical moment. I think i just ruined my chances at getting onto an MA by fucking this up. I'm gonna need a fucking amazing Dissertation to save my arse from this one. Or something..

I'm gonna feel so bad about this during summer.. i have one week to prove i can make something of myself.. then i can fuck about and do what i want for 4 months. Even if i just scrape it i'm not gonna be happy. What a waste of an oppotunity, because i know i'm gonna go easy on it because i can. Maybe if i had to fight to get my work recognised rather than pulling something half decent out the hat in a moment (last moment, even) because i have some sort of untapped talent, i'd push myself to do better things. But i just waste away knowing that i can achieve what i need without making a real effert. This actuallty sounds so "oh so full of myself", now that i read it back; but it's not supposed to be.. because i'm never gonna make something of myself. I'll waste away into the depths behind those who make the real effert.

Anyway, it's 3:15am and i guess i should finish up cursing myself for falling victim to my distractions so willingly, when it mattered most. "Pulling a Grahame" should be the official term for 'doing all the little things that will never amount to as much as the real stake'. It was always my way.

We'll see how summer goes.. i've got thing's on.. and stuff. Maybe it'll make me happy. I dunno.